Sunday, December 10, 2006

Trim The Tree

I must have missed a memo.

Maybe there was an e-mail I missed while looking at porn.

I didn't see anything in the local paper.

There has to be a reason why everyone looks at me strange when I tell them I don't have my Christmas Tree up yet. They look at me like I just stepped out from the Dark Ages, or maybe I'm speaking Martian or some gibberish they don't understand.

So what if my tree isn't up yet?

Why people put so much idealism into a dead tree (or a hunk of plastic resemblimg a dead tree) is beyond me. If you want somewhere to stack the presents - just put them in any free corner that isn't full of rotting flora . (The tree just takes up valuable present space anyway.) Or put it on a table, on the floor, does it really fucking matter?

Yes, the tree is a focal point and provides a nice backdrop for photos, but it's still one of those traditions that just doesn't make sense when celebrating Christmas. (Jesus and lumber didn't get along at the end if I recall correctly.) So why do we honor it so?

I think I'll save myself a lot of grief and just go chop one down and let it rot where it is. It can drop all the dead needles it wants on the Forest floor - it's a much better choice than my living room carpet.


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