Sunday, July 31, 2005

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Sorry for the lack of posts, I know all 2 of my faithful readers must be disappointed.
I'll do a post tomorrow, just been really busy with work and stuff.
What should I write about? Why don't you let me know and I'll write. Ask me my opinion on anything, and I'll let you know what I think. If there's no comments then I'll go back to my usual shit. Isn't THAT a threat?

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Paradise is...

  1. Sleeping in as long as you want.
  2. Waking up to the most mind-blowing hummer known to exist.
  3. Rolling over for a half-hour nap.
  4. A shower hot enough to boil an egg in 3 minutes. You're in for 15.
  5. The Grand Forks Breakfast (French Toast Style) waiting for you.
  6. A stroll along the Seawalk, admiring all of God's creations, their bikinis, and some of that nature shit too.
  7. Relaxing on your back deck with a coffee, a good book, and the second best hummer you've had all day.
  8. A late afternoon lunch at a sidewalk cafe, admiring the scenery that walks by. (Possible encounter with sexy waitress, and the bill's taken care of.)
  9. Reaching in your pocket and finding $25 you didn't know you had.
  10. A steak dinner , grilled to perfection. I'm talkin' a manly steak, like half a cow.
  11. Watching one of your all time favorite movies, newly released on DVD, with extra commentary previously unheard by human ears.
  12. The rest of the evening having the type of sex that would make God himself admit that he's not sure the equipment was made to take that kind of prolonged use.

Was my day anywhere close to what's described above? Not Fuckin' likely.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I Feel...

  1. That some days just getting out of bed should be declared a victory for mankind.
  2. That who ever invented and perfected coffee should replace God as the central figure of our modern religion.
  3. That all things being equal, fat people use more soap.
  4. That "when in doubt, just pick C" can't be applied to global politics. (The GW rule.)
  5. That the secret to great parenting is the liberal application of the "5 second rule"
  6. That Han shot first, he was right to do so, and he should do it again should the situation arise.
  7. That on a scale of one to ten, I'd have to pick Yellow.
  8. That all every woman really wants, be it mother, senator, nun, is some serious deep-dickin'.
  9. That 2 out of 3, I'm the guy to do the job.
  10. That it's better to burn out than to fade away. ( Says the guy who's semi-transparent as we speak...)

Tuesday, July 05, 2005


Feel so shitty.
I have the Flu, which I got from the Boy.
I feel slightly better than he does, which is to say that I feel like I've turned my insides out in homage to the porcelain gods.
Not much to say, stay tuned in until next week.
Same Bat-Time
Same Bat-Channel.