Saturday, December 02, 2006


As I go to and from work, I'm amazed at the different levels of decoration that people go to in preparation for Christmas.

Forget the fact that there is a guy on my street who has had his lights up and on since November 16th - That fucker is in a whole other world. For arguments sake we'll exclude the crazies.

As for everyone else? Here's what I see:
  1. No Decorations - This is where my house is right now. I'm just putting it off until I find the time. I think most are like me, where they are just waiting for the right day to do it. Some don't decorate at all, and that's just fine too. What's the point of putting all the shit up, just to take it down again?
  2. Basic Lights - Three strings, tops. You know they don't really have their heart in it, they just do it because by the 24th it looks strange if you are the only one without something up.
  3. Creative - Some of these people might have even thrown some lights in an outside tree, or maybe had those fake lighted reindeer going on. (I would forgive any fake reindeer in erotic positions.)
  4. Enthusiastic - Window decorations start to appear. Fake snow, stickys, pictures of elves frolicking with Santa. The crazier ones go up right in the front window. These are the people who make their own wreaths and hang them until January 17th.
  5. Psycho - Lighted Blow Up shit abounds. More lights than any three houses on the street. As I walk by I can hear the hydro meter ticking round and round. Think Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation. (The November man? He's like this.)
It'll only get worse as we get closer to the Big Day.
I swear the first place to play Christmas Carols gets egged on a nightly basis. (I have access to eggs, I can make this happen.)

With my luck I'll fall of the roof putting the lights up.

Oh, the Joy of the season.



1 comment:

    CR -- Sunday 24 Dec

    A CR Resident fell from his roof, this week, apparently while hanging decorations. RCMP are urging residents to exercise extreme caution on slippery roofs while engaging in the popular holiday custom.

    "He was up there, hammering away, and I heard his cell phone ring," his young wife explained. "I heard him yell 'You're Where?!?' and 'Fucking Puerto Vallarta', and then stomp around a bit, and that's maybe when he lost his footing."

    The man is expected to recover, but apparently he will not be scuba diving on Christmas Day like his much more fortunate Puerto-Vallarta-vacationing friend, who's also more handsome anyway.

    And J looks hot in a bikini.