Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Random Thoughts.

  1. I'm beginning to think that due to natural evolution, women will soon lose all feeling in their lower back. I've noticed that most of them seem to show so much ass-cleavage that pretty soon the nerve endings will be affected by exposure to the elements.
  2. I've also noticed that most men aren't complaining about that fact.
  3. Playing online poker is entertaining. I have never wanted to reach through the screen and hurt someone before, so that's a new thing for me.
  4. Some ideas come at the worst possible time. If my hands are full and I have no access to a writing instrument, I will have an epiphany so enlightening that to gaze upon it would blind you. Of course, I forget this as soon as I am able to record it.
  5. My disdain for certain "Classic" musicians is almost as strong as the Sidekick's disgust for new ones.
  6. That although everyone has seen Star Wars, not everyone gets the casual Star Wars reference. Saying "Slicker than Lando on Bespin." only earns you strange looks in mixed company. Don't even try to mention starting a Galactic Empire...
  7. Nobody looks trough the viewfinder on cameras anymore. Ever since digital cameras gave us that little screen on the back, everyone holds their camera as far away from themselves as possible, like they are trying to push the camera onto the image they want. And people wonder why we delete over half of our digital photos.
  8. My dishwasher is like a halfway house for wayward dishes. They're not dirty anymore, but odds are they won't make it back to the cupboard before being dirtied again. Some call it a dishwasher, I call it "The Wet Cupboard."
  9. Does anyone even eat plain donuts anymore? If so, why? I'm not talking about post-dunk, chewy tasty donuts; I'm lookin' at the pre-dunk, dry-as-sawdust donuts. For Christsakes, break down and slap some glaze on that! Name one thing in the world that isn't better with glaze on it. Go ahead - I dare you..
  10. I'd like to invent a new sexual position. Something so awesome everyone wants to do it. Then I'll give it a really dumb name. That way in the moment of passion you'll hear " That's it, baby! Swangle me! Swangle me hard! Oh God Yes!" I think that laughter only heightens ejaculation.



  1. 1. It's Natal Cleavage, you ignorant boob.
    9. Pizza. Cars. Other glaze. Supermodels. Oh, right.

  2. I know it's called that, but you must admit that "Ass Cleavage" has a much better ring to it.
    More descriptive.
    We're working in the realm of imagination, people!

    Answer to yours: Dessert Pizza & Donut Cars. Glaze 'em up!

  3. You win. Dessert pizza is either the best thing known to man, the best thing for a tired drunk looking to walk a few dozen miles home or else the very worst thing to ever feed children/humans at any time unless Quake is on the agenda and sleeping is not.

    Glazed Milla. Is that legal?

    WV (uffizyhp) thinks so, but assumes I read fark.