Thursday, September 07, 2006

Animation Inflammation.

I used to watch Cartoons as a kid.

Yeah, I watched Super-Friends, Astroboy, and even G.I. Joe.

G.I. Joe was more of a weekday fix. I'd watch before school started, after I got out of the shower. My timing was never right, so I'd have to sit through ten or fifteen minutes of My Little Pony before I was able to get any "Yo Joe!" action. Talk about awkward. After masturbating furiously in the shower - to have to sit and watch rainbows and magic saddles? (I consider it a miracle that I'm not messed up sexually.) Thank God it only went on daily for about three years.

But I'm getting sidetracked.

I have a lot of respect for those memories. (Not of the shower...) However, they are not the world to me. It amazes me how some people get so worked up when Hollywood tackles a beloved childhood memory.
In various spots on the Internet I have seen rumblings about the Transformers movie that is scheduled to come out next year. Some of the designs of the characters have been leaked and some of the fans are in a bit of an uproar over the way their cherished characters have been adapted for the newer audience. To them I say: Chill The Fuck Out.

It is incredibly hard to take a piece of animated work and turn it into something watchable as live action. That's why the Comic Book Movie success rate still only hovers around 65%. Even in this age of massive CGI, making what may be pure crap look good is challenging. (If the Star Wars prequels didn't have Ewan as Obi-Wan, I think the whole shebang would have sucked. Even with, there are some terribly weak moments.) So CGI and design isn't everything. The story has to be there.

You can't go into anything nowadays and experience that same wonder you had when you watched it as a kid. You are a different person now, and most of us look back on the past through rose colored glasses anyway. Sure, I fondly remember watching G.I. Joe on those mornings before school, always amazed at how they were able to defeat battalions of Cobra tanks without a single fatality - but I always seem to forget the fact that most of the time I was in a post-orgasm glow, and anything would have seemed great at the time.

So I suggest to those that are skeptical or even hostile of Hollywood's productions of their favorite shows:
Try to go in with an open mind and appreciate the time and effort that went into the film, and try to understand that they are attempting to bring in new viewers who may not know all the history or characters. These new viewers are the ones who will guarantee the future success of your cherished memory.

Or Jerk Off just before you go in the theater; everything will seem great then.


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