Sunday, September 17, 2006

Evil Genius.

If I was a super villain, I'd go against all the norms.

  1. I would shoot first and monologue later.
  2. I would hire smart henchmen with at least some problem solving skills and decent accuracy on the firing range.
  3. My lair would be both fashionable and functional, as demonstrated by The Futon Of Death.
  4. I wouldn't cut off my kids hand. (Until after he says he doesn't want to rule the galaxy.)
  5. Two words: Safety Rails. If your lair has to be in a cave or space station with large, bottomless holes, I can't stress the importance of safety rails.
  6. Keep your eye on the prize. Instead of risking the ransom you've won to kill the superhero, take the money and hire someone else to do it later. Subcontracting is just smart delegation.
  7. I wouldn't have a cape. Unless I was a gay Super Villain.
  8. My evil plan? I'd keep it to myself. Most likely commit it to memory. Everyone else is on a need-to-know basis.
  9. I'd not hesitate to waste the hero's lovable Sidekick or Super-Pet. You just know that'll fuck them up somehow. Advantage? Me.
  10. I would not let some grudge from days gone by get the better of me. If the hero wants it to be just me and him, mano et mano - I'd laugh and have one of my more sniper-like lackeys shoot him in the knees while I sipped my latte. (Yes, Evil Masterminds do enjoy a latte now and then.)

No comments:

Post a Comment