Thursday, August 31, 2006

Sunglasses At Night.

I see you over there; you're trying to look cool, and you're failing miserably.

The thing you don't realize buddy, is that although you think you are the shit, you look like a total retard, and I'll tell you why:

Lose the fucking sunglasses. You're indoors, goddamn it, not sunning yourself on the patio.

Sunglasses have a place and time. That place is outdoors - and the time would be anytime you are outdoors. The only exception to wearing sunglasses inside is if you are a player on the World Poker Tour. So unless you can show me a stack of chips and a wad of cash I see no reason for you to be wearing your shades.

At Zellers.
By the Kiddie section.
Fucking perv.

Do I sound judgmental?

It's just that your choice of eyewear leaves me with only three options:
  • You are a stalker perv, scoping out innocents while looking for low, low prices.
  • You are severely handicapped, and thus unable to determine the correct time to remove your $6.95 "Peekers" Sunglasses.
  • You are blind.
Since I didn't see a fucking white cane, that only leaves the other two options, and I don't see the Special Olympics logo on any of your clothing so we are just left with the first selection.

Eyes are the windows to the soul; so unless you have no soul, (stalker perv), lose the shades and let the world know what you are looking at.


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