Monday, August 21, 2006

Young, Dumb, Full of.....

I think that most young men today are complete fucking retards.

Not to offend the guys I know who are younger than me, (McQuarrie - you and Vaughn are safe.) but most of the kids I work with (babysit) have got about as much intelligence as a canned ham. And that's giving the ham a lot of credit.
Granted, most of these stellar intellectuals are only 16 or 17 years old, but for what they are expected to do, age makes no distinction.

There are two areas that upset me the most. Speed and Comprehension.

When addressing the issue of Speed, I just have to say that when a guy twice your age can move twice as fast as you, it's probably something to be ashamed of. If I was being out-hustled by a sixty year old, I would be embarrassed to no end. These guys seem to have one setting: slow. When you ask them why, they tell you they are tired. From what, you may ask? Just up late playing games or partying. I have no objections to either of those , but if you have to drag your ass around work because of it, maybe you should suck it up and grow a pair. When I was sixteen I would party until one, fuck a chick until two and still be at work for seven am. (Yes, I am that good.) All I'm asking them to do is pick up the pace a bit, quit shuffling around like you got lost on your way to the Special Olympics.

As for Comprehension, let me say this: The only thing that moves slower than these guys is their thought process. Trying to give them simple instruction is like trying to teach a dog calculus. (And I'm talking one of the dumb breeds of dog.) When I finish telling them what I want done they even cock their head to the side a bit, just like a dog that doesn't understand you. I'd have more luck trying to teach a guy with no hands how to read braille.

And it doesn't matter who it is - they all seem to be in pretty much the same boat, with only slight variations in performance. At work tonight I would have gladly stabbed one or both of them in the eye with my pen, but I only had one pen, and sometimes they get stuck in the orbital socket. (A pen is too good to waste on some of these little schmucks, I'd prefer something duller, like a stick or cotton swab.)

I'm not sure how we can improve the situation, but if giving them repeated slaps to the back of the head is involved, sign me up.


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