I should invest in the stock market.
Almost a year ago I posted about how my son likes to tell everyone and anyone what he did that day, where he went and who he saw. I theorized that he would eventually say the wrong thing to my Wife and get me killed.
Close, but I'm not dead, so it's not as bad as you might think.
He's progressed from transcribing events to actually recalling what Bad Words Daddy might have said throughout the day. He's like a voice recorder, except I don't control the playback function.
I'm getting picked up from the gym tonight and once I'm in the car I'm asked about something I said two hours ago.
(There was a cop driving by with his lights flashing and a truck hadn't noticed - he kept on his way. Eventually he did see the police car, and pulled over, and I commented to myself that the guy was "Driving like a retard.")
The Boy had seen a cop car when he was with his Mom and told her that Daddy said a Bad Word about a cop. If he's going to squeal, I wish he'd get it right.
He then comments to her that I also said something bad about a car in the Tim Horton's Drive Thru. I'm left defending my actions (or trying to) and looking like a horrible Dad.
I think I'm going to have to get earmuffs for him or something.
I'm now waiting for the day when he confesses to me saying some woman has a nice rack.
I don't think I'll feel the knife slip through my ribs......