Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Peril of Pillows and Sheets.

I did the worst thing ever this morning.

Got up, ran, did my weight workout, even had a tan. I then went home, made coffee, got the kids up, fed 'em, dressed 'em, and whisked them away to school.

Wait - it gets worse.

The Wife was still asleep, so I proceed to crawl back into bed, snuggled up behind her, and promptly fall asleep. Again. For at least an hour - maybe an hour and a half.

I'm paying for it now.

This morning I was feeling wonderful and energetic - now I'm at work feeling like a lethargic sack of crap. I'm not dumb enough to blame it on the Wife, so instead I'm assigning all blame to the sheets and pillows.

It's their fault.

If they would have been scratchy and itchy, we wouldn't have this problem. I wouldn't have even contemplated getting back onto bed. But nooooooo - they have to be soft and warm and crisp and inviting and it's their fault that I'm so fucking tired right now. I'm sure somehow a rock of crack fell into the dryer - that's the only way to explain the addictive qualities of my bedsheets.

I should have brought something with me to work - a sham, a swatch - so I could nap on my last coffee break. Just a fix to get me through the rest of the shift. I don't need it - I could quit cold turkey anytime I want - I just think a little hit to perk me up will make the day go so much smoother.

There should be a 12-step program for getting out of bed.

And I'd like to skip at least 11 steps.

Fucking pillows - they'll get you every time.



  1. Naps just aren't waht they used to be! I love them, but I avoid them or else I am useless for the rest of the day!

  2. My body's desire for a nap ... is usually about 20 minutes before I have to pick my kids up from school. I can't even begin to tell you how overjoyed I am that beginning next year, their school day will be extended an extra 100+ minutes. We keep getting papers about what this extra time will mean: more time on core subjects, recess for all grades, longer lunches, yada, yada, yada.

    All I see is: Decent afternoon nap for me.