Saturday, June 02, 2007

Helping The Handicapped.

Last night, The Sidekick and I were supposed to play in a local Poker tournament.

It didn't happen, so instead we went to a guy the Sidekick is familiar with who "has a game going all the time." I've played there before - it wasn't too bad, a lot of big talk and shitty hands - but what the hell, it's been awhile since I played and I wanted my fix.

We get there and it's like Poker Preschool. They were so confused as to what was going on that I thought I'd have to point out where the table was. I'm surprised they didn't have a Poker Winning Hands guide on the wall. ("What do you mean a flush beats my two pair?")
Next to all the smoke breaks and bullshit chatter, I'm surprised that there wasn't a break for nap time. If you've ever played Poker online - these nutjobs make online players look like seasoned professionals.

The Sidekick and I persevered as long as we could and then left. I've never been so happy to see my cards beaten. I committed a bit of poker suicide, but I just felt that the longer I stayed there, whatever knowledge I might possess would be overwhelmed by the combined stupidity in the room.

I swore that I would never again let the urge come over me so much as to make me play there again. (And I'll play almost anywhere.)

My only question is: Can I write-off my losses ($5) as a charitable donation to the handicapped? Can I put that down on my Schedule 1 Form? When asked for a description, will Canada Revenue accept "Played Poker with really dumb people."?

I certainly hope so.


1 comment:

  1. The saddest part is that, having slammed these people publicly, you may now never tell us whom you're slagging.

    Even sadder is that *I* could play with these guys and beat them. And I'm a poker n00b who is only grateful for your continued patience.