Sunday, March 18, 2007

Batteries Not Included.

If I was a stock-market kinda guy, I'd invest in Batteries.

Batteries are like toilet paper - you don't know how important they are until you don't have any. I'd even say they could be more important - you can wipe your ass with a leaf, but Mother Nature can't help you out when your camera starts flashing "low-bat".

Sometimes battery replacement helps you prioritize things in your life. Batteries on your wireless mouse go dead? Strip the ones from your camera. Need batteries for the camera? Take them from that annoying toy your in-laws got for the kids. Need batteries for the toy? Screw it- tell the kids that it's broken.

It wasn't until my first Christmas as a parent that I came to understand how big a part batteries would play in my life. The amount of children's toys that run on 2-4 "AAA" batteries or 6-8 "D" batteries is amazing. Couldn't they make these things a little bit more energy efficient? I guess it's hard to put a solar panel on the ol' Lite Brite.

I'm not a believer when it comes to battery superiority. I've found that cheap ones work just as good as The Copper Top. If the sight of a drumming bunny is supposed to get me to by a certain brand of battery, they are way off. Maybe they should pay the bunny less and make the batteries cheaper - then I might be interested. The only source I would take any advice from would be women who use vibrators. You know they aren't going to go with a battery that wears out mid-climax.

I'm off to see if I can steal another "AA" - I need to change the channel on the T.V.


Song on My Mind - "Sick of Myself" By Matthew Sweet
Reading - "Sweet Silver Blues" By Glen Cook

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