Monday, January 23, 2012

Dear Radio DJ,

I know you're trying your best, but I've got a couple of observation while I'm listening to you at work today:

- Unless you had a request from a guy with a mullet and an Iroc, why are you playing Whitesnake? That's just not called for. Look at a calendar, it's not 1987.

- If you play one more Def Leppard song in the next 5 minutes, I'm going to assume it's either because some guy in the band died and you're going for the tribute angle, or else you're gay for one-armed drummers.

- Whomever taught you "witty banter" needs to be shot. Seriously. I've heard funnier stuff from my kids, and they still think farting is the epitome of humour.

- I have to say it - you're a heavy breather - try stepping farther back from the microphone, like maybe 2 or 3 miles.

- When you pick Loverboy for your Canadian content, nobody wins.

I don't want to come across as too negative or anything, and I do have some good points about your broadcast as well:

- ...... ummm, yeah - I couldn't really think of anything. I guess I could say "good job at cutting to commercial"?

I'm heading back from my lunch break now, and I'd just like to say that I hope you read this, because if you don't, the next four hours are going to suck.



  1. You were rolling all over the potato and onion bins like the dirty pirate hooker you are during that Whitesnake song.

    There you go again...

    1. You've hacked into our security system, haven't you?

      I confess - I put Tawny Kitain to shame..

  2. Ah c'mon...who doesn't love a one-armed drummer?