Thursday, January 26, 2012

Axe to Grind.

During my de-stress run at the gym last night, I noticed a couple of things:
  1. The average age (compared to the mornings, when I usually go) is down by about 30 years. I don't think there's more testosterone and acne located in any single place anywhere else in town.
  2. These people stink.
It's not the natural, musky, "working hard and sweating buckets" odor that you'd expect in a gym, (although that's there too -it's a gym, after all.) but the sickly-sweet spray-can smell of Axe deodorant/body-spray/whatever.

I swear these guys were swimming in it.
Ahh - the smell of cat pee on rotting wood.
It wasn't like some guy doused himself when he got out of the shower - they smelled like that while they were working out. It was like a can exploded by the weight rack, and only the douchey-looking ones got hit. The fact that there's really no women in the place make me wonder who they were trying to smell good for - were they hoping that some stray woman would stagger into the gym and be entranced by the fresh-from-the-can pheromones they are throwin' down?

The odds of that happening are about as likely as me suddenly beating the average Kenyan in a foot race.

I think they need counseling - someone to tell them that less is more, and that quality is better than 3 cans/$5 at Wal-mart.

I'd do it, but that means I'd have to submit myself to that stench for an even longer period - and that ain't going to happen.

Thank God for mornings.



  1. "only the douchey looking ones got hit"


    i have a GREAT track story to tell, but i'm afraid if i do, i'll come off looking like a racist. It's like a ran a mile in larry david's shoes tonight...

  2. Some stories must be told...and hey - you've already pissed off the Chapman clan, so why stop there?

  3. Listen...Bethy and I are cool.

    Also... I found my 'source'. Someone found my "Pinterest" post online, then she pinned it her board -- then 24 others pinned it to their boards. and Blam-O! I had 550 views yesterday. no. poop.

    So...I've pinned your blog and my blog two places (my Blogs/Books Worth Reading board and my Funny Because It's True Board). I had them both pinned to the Books/Blogs board a few days ago, with no repins. But it exploded when this one woman found it thru Google.

    Anyway...let's see what happens. And if you aren't comfortable with it, I'll unpin you. But I understand you're a bit of a numbers junkie...

  4. Totally comfortable with it - and thanks.

    People recommending/following my blog and retweet-ing some of the strange stuff I say totally make my day. It's a virtual "thumbs-up".

    If I'm going to have new visitors, I should probably clean up around here...this place is a mess!

  5. :) I had a hard time fitting my giant, swelled head into my car to get to Run Club.

  6. I would be the same, trust me.

    In the future, I'll be saying "I was reading her before it was cool."

    Enjoy the fame!