All I want is a bar of soap.
I don't want one with lavender, strawberries, chamomile, exfoliates, apricots or whatever the hell else you stick in there. I don't want "essence" of anything - I just want soap.
When I get out of the shower, you know what I like to smell like? Me. I like to smell like me, but cleaner. If I want to smell different, I can always use cologne. Soap shouldn't be about smells - it should be about what gets the dirt off.
Why the hubbub about smells? Well, if my soap smells like lavander, my deodorant smells like "power ice" (whatever that is), and I wear Calvin Klein cologne, what does that make me?
Gay - that's what it makes me.
I just want a soap to make me clean - I can take care of the other smells myself.
(That's what burritos are for.)