Thursday, March 06, 2008

Slippery Situation.

All I want is a bar of soap.

I don't want one with lavender, strawberries, chamomile, exfoliates, apricots or whatever the hell else you stick in there. I don't want "essence" of anything - I just want soap.

When I get out of the shower, you know what I like to smell like? Me. I like to smell like me, but cleaner. If I want to smell different, I can always use cologne. Soap shouldn't be about smells - it should be about what gets the dirt off.

Why the hubbub about smells? Well, if my soap smells like lavander, my deodorant smells like "power ice" (whatever that is), and I wear Calvin Klein cologne, what does that make me?

Gay - that's what it makes me.

I just want a soap to make me clean - I can take care of the other smells myself.
(That's what burritos are for.)


1 comment:

  1. I've developed an allergy to a lot of perfumy soaps, I think, as well as anti-perspirant of all kinds (so far). I'm stuck with lever2000 and ivory, and deodorant for as long as they continue to make them. After that, you're all screwed.

    (never figured out what kinda hubris makes people think they can prevent actual perspiration. Hello-oo, pores on 100% of the body, and there for a reason! But now that there's a link between anti-perspirant and development of, um, 'excessively pungent' body odor in general, maybe we'll finally clue in -- or develop a place for gorillasweat mutants to live in blessed isolation)