Thursday, March 27, 2008

A Nation Gone Mad.

Canadians as a whole have a pretty laid-back reputation.

We're known as easy-going, polite, and socially responsible.

They should meet us after we've Rolled up the Rim.

Gone is the generous, well-mannered Canadian. In their place lies a bitter, disappointed, ready-to-let-Quebec-take-over, foam-at-the-mouth individual. More Canadians complain about being fucked over by Tim Horton's than they do about our Government. (The two are very much alike - there's a 1:5.9 million chance you'll get something good out of them.)

I'll admit - I've fallen into this trap myself. I'm more pissed about not winning my free coffee than I am about the Foreign policies of the Harper Government. (How sad is that?)

But I still keep going there. I can't help it - and they know that.

Tim Horton's doesn't care. The entire province of B.C. could stop going and they'd still make a profit. (It's all those drones in Ontario who keep the Donut Machine moving along. There's something like a Tim's every 63.5 meters or something like that.) They shipped 17 million cups to B.C. for the contest, and Ontario got 152 million. Seems fair, right? I'm sure some shmuck from Oshawa is going to be happy winning a Toyota Matrix.

But once the contest is over, we can go back to being our lovable, patriotic, trusting selves. There will be no more anger and resentment, and the bitter taste in our mouths will be washed away by a Double Double. (Sweetener - not sugar.)

At least until next year - when our March Madness starts again.


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