Nasty has a new word - SunnyD.
I get home from Poker tonight, and look for something to drink. I glance into the fridge and there is nothing - no milk, no soda, nothing.
I rummage around, looking for a stray can of whatever. By this time I'm parched, and would drink practically anything I see.
That's when I spot it.
Way at the back of the fridge, behind the lettuce, is a bottle of SunnyD.
It's been years since I had SunnyD. I hated it then, but maybe it's worth a shot. I glance over at the tap, thinking maybe I should just go with a glass of water instead. But some part of my mind (the retarded part) urges me to chug the cool, crisp SunnyD and quench my thirst.
I scoop the bottle up and twist the cap off, thinking to myself "How bad can it be? It's got a shelf life of two months, and can sit at room temperature for two weeks without having to be refrigerated - it's just full of natural ingredients, right?"
The SunnyD washes down my throat in a wave of flavor. I chug the bottle, slaking my mighty thirst. Then it hits me - the aftertaste. I burp, and it tastes like oranges dipped in gasoline. All of a sudden there's this oily taste in my mouth, and my tongue has gone all fuzzy.
This isn't good.
I go to the bathroom, and after brushing my teeth and tongue twice, I can still slightly taste it. I rinse with water three times, and bust out the Listerine to kill whatever traces may still be left. There is only one problem....
Now I'm thirsty again.
I could just have a glass of water.
Or maybe there's another SunnyD at the back of the fridge......