Justification.

I can smell a donut from 150 yards away.

They are my greatest nemesis.

They are an enemy, a lover, an abusive relationship with mindblowing make-up sex.

I can't seem to stay away.

I think the whole basis I have for repeatedly going to the gym is so that I'm able to periodically eat Donuts and not weigh 350 pounds. That's it. Forget the health benefits and the fact that it's just good for you. I do it so I can eat sugary glazed crullery goodness. It's on par with smoking while you play sports. ( I used to do that too. Ask the Sidekick.)

I have Trivia for mental masturbation.
I have Poker for competitive masturbation.
I have Donuts for appetite masturbation.

And we all know what the right hand is for...


Holding Donuts.
(With a firm grip.)

Later.