Today is different.
I have too many thoughts.
Too many things are going on in the world that I'd like to converse about. Since most of them are happening right now, to talk about them in a week or so (when I finally get to it) would seem stupid.
So you are getting them all right now.
Short and brief, but you are getting them.
- The Queen of The North may have sunk because two crew members were having sex instead of watching what was going on. How is it that I can receive a blowjob and still drive a car on the highway and these people can't fuck and steer a ferry through a channel six miles wide? Amateurs.
- The Police are going to preform at the Grammys and then go on tour. About Fucking Time. I'll never be able to afford the tickets, but this is awesome. I think they should cover all their old stuff in a whirlwind tour and then pack it in again. If they go all Rolling Stones on us and release some new shit, I'm going to be pissed. Now can someone tell Roger Waters it's time for the Pink Floyd Reunion?
- FHM releases it's final U.S/ Canada issue. The only reason I ever picked up this rag was when I'd already read Maxim. If Playboy & Hustler are losing magazine sales because of the availability of Porn on the Internet, what makes these tease-mags think they can compete? Thanks for the tasteful spread of Pamela Andersen FHM, but I've already seen all the goods (and I mean all the goods) online.
- Anna Nicole Smith died today. The greatest pair of breasts the 90's had ever seen are gone. I'd crack a joke, but her life was such a train wreck that I just hope she is a peace now. When she was the Guess girl she used to make me feel funny in my pants. She was one of the best parts of Naked Gun 33 1/3rd. I'll bet you St. Peter's got a stiffy just thinking about that one coming through the gates.
My original plan was to bitch about crosswalks.
How fun and exciting is that? Talking about crossing the road!
I better save that for another time.
Like when I'm in a coma.