Thursday, July 05, 2007

The Heat Is On.

It's like someone flicked a switch.

We go from last week's rain and chill to a fucking heat wave in the blink of an eye. I think my pasty white flesh was actually starting to smoke when I stepped into the sunlight. I don't know how the Australians can handle the summer heat year round - I'd wilt like a weed. (I bet there are no Vampires in Australia, though - great selling point.)

It's not that I hate the heat - it's just that I don't deal well with it. I hate being sticky and sweaty (unless....well, you know) so right away I'm off to a bad start. It's not like sitting around keeps you any cooler, either - I sweat almost as much sitting on my ass as I do running around.

I think my Plumber friend to the right has the best idea - Super Soakers. I know that in some parts of the world, the water I'm spraying haphazardly about could be used to water fields and provide cleaner living conditions, but fuck that - I'm hot.

I think I'll go out and sit underneath my sprinkler. If I put my book into a Ziploc bag, I might even be able to read a bit while I'm out there. If worse comes to worst, I might even try one of those faggy Frappuccino drinks The Sidekick's always raving about. (It doesn't make me gay though.)

I'm almost starting to miss those days after my operation when I sat around with frozen peas on my crotch. (Ah... the memories.)


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