Resolutions.

Resolutions are a crock of shit.

What difference does one day make? Why January 1st? Maybe we should have a resolution day, maybe closer to the summer. That way if your gonna resolve to lose weight or some such shit, then there's no time to dwaddle. You gots to take care of your shit ASAP.

The problem with January is that if your resolution involves the summer in any way, as most do, you have five or six months to procrastinate about the whole thing. And you know you are going to put it off. Hell most people have big resolutions, like losing weight or quitting smoking. That's shit you've been putting off for years, what's another two or three months?

Try and keep the resolutions reasonable, achievable, and realistic. Don't have a resolution to bang more supermodels; it ain't gonna happen. Keep it simple, like using the spellchecker when you blog, (HINT) or maybe cutting back on the five cups of coffee in the morning. ( I'm shooting for four!) I'd love to make it a goal to get a hummer everyday, but with just the wife, it's not happening. I'll have to enlist outside help. (Planning your strategy is very important.)

But back to my original point. Making a resolution in front of the whole world is just stupid. Especially at New Years. Nobody keeps their New Years resolutions, it's just a facade to make people believe that we care enough about the world to at least try and do something. If you make a decision to change something in your life, but you've had the idea in June, do you wait till New Years to do it? Hell no.

And it's always resolutions for the better. No one ever says, "I'm going to kick more puppies.", or " I think I'll poison the neighbor's water supply." You can bet some of the wackjobs in the middle east are resolving to make more suicide bombs, but you don't ever hear about it.

So if you make some resolutions or you don't, it really doesn't matter. You can tell me if you want, but I don't expect you to keep 'em.

I'll just be over here drinking my sixth coffee, relaxing after that wonderful blowjob.

Whatever.