Monday, January 16, 2006


A long time ago, I jotted down some things about myself in regards to my nerdiness.

It was pretty tame stuff, and I ended up about average on the Nerd Scale.

But I left something out of my list; a dark shame that I've kept hidden for so long, that most of the people who may have known are dead now. (Or moved out of town.)

I was a Trekker.

Notice I use the term "Trekker" and not the derogatory "Trekkie". That in itself is sad. I was a big fan of the 24th century, with it's holodecks, blind black guys and empathic chicks who could read the first mate's dirty little mind.

Yes, I was a Next-Generation Trekker.

Oh, sure, I respected the Original Series, but for me the adventures of the Enterprise-D far surpassed any green chicks Kirk could bang. Picard had the smarts, Riker had the balls, and the Chicks all had great cans wrapped in supple polyester unitards.
I had the books, the technical manuals, and even wore the costume on Halloween. (And yet during this time I still got laid. Funny, really.)

Luckily this only lasted for a short period of time, and I denied all knowledge of it's existence.
The denial was so complete that I even laughed at the Sidekick for his fan-boyish devotion to Star Wars, universally known to be far superior to Star Trek. ( Although you never heard Spock go "Yippee!")

Why did my adoration for the Series wane? I think I just got tired of it. It's hard to like something that gets progressively shittier as time goes on. They kept doing the same old crap, and then they came out with Deep Space Nine, which I hated, and that just did it for me. I didn't have a problem with some of the shenanigans that happened on the show, but when you base a spin-off on the mean guy from Spenser: For Hire, and he likes to talk out his problems, well you just lost me.

I can't even watch the show anymore. If I see it on the guide, I skip past as fast as possible. It almost pains me to think how I used to set aside hours of my life to watch that show.

Now that I have confessed to you all, I feel a bit cleaner, more relaxed, and I won't feel that pang of doubt next time I call some loser a geek. My secret's out there, and I feel better for it.


  1. You DID NOT [gasp] wear a red shirt for hallowe'en!

    The very idea that you still got laid for it, well that's just absurd. You can only have done a 'this is so lame it's funny now' kind of thing. It's the only way.

    If I hate you even more, it's only envy because you were fucked as a full-on trekkie. That's like a feat of torsican proportion.

  2. i too was a Next Gen trekker
    notice i too use the politically correct Trekker
    I was a teenage boy who liked sci-fi, action, and had the hots for Marina Sirtis...or whatever her name was...Deanna Troy
    Ya she was hot...or was she??
    but i never wore a costume fan boy
    that is truely gay
    you know you can be gay and still be married with children
    i've heard of that before
    be afraid
    it can sneak right up on you
    you could be living your life thinking you like pussy, and bang its a cock in your mouth...