Friday, December 09, 2011
Dear Lady on the Stairclimber in front of me at the Gym:
I just wanted to say thank you. I know it sounds creepy and weird, but you were an inspiration to me today, and I really wanted you to know that.
I will admit that as I ran on the treadmill behind you, I initially wasn't looking - I was fascinated with the news about Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment being bought out by the two major media giants in our fine country. (Until I realized that it meant potentially more Maple Leaf games on my T.V. - I then immediately lost interest.)
At first I noticed your calves - you were on the StairMaster after all, and I must say that as a guy who appreciates his own calves (I think they are my best feature, actually) yours looked stellar. Having read recently about Stilettos and high heels, I imagined you slipping into a pair of 5 inch ones when you change out of your runners. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't - I wasn't there to see it.
But I was there when you took off your warm up jacket and reveled a pair of back dimples the likes of which I have never seen. The sight of those Dimples of Venus (seriously, that's the name - I looked it up) were actually what kept me going for the last half mile today - I was fading fast, but somehow felt rejuvenated and I have to give the credit to your ahem...assets.
Unlike the creeper guy on the treadmill beside me, I didn't openly stare - I have some class after all - but I did just want you to know that all the hard work you do is appreciated, albeit silently. I found out guys can also have these sexy things, so now you've given me something to work for.
So thank you, dear lady - your efforts helped my efforts.
It's a win-win situation, see?