Saturday, December 17, 2011

Hands On Pumping.

Does anyone else have one of these?

I hate them.

Hate may be a strong term, but it's what works right now. The Wife bought a couple of these ages ago - one for each bathroom and the kitchen sink as well. The magic of hands-free soap lured her into it's clutches. After the novelty of waving my hands around and getting soap wore off (about .03 seconds), I started to dislike it.

As a lover of all things new and techy, (computers, smartphones, flat screen T.V.) you think I would have embraced this glorious era of soapiness - never having to pick up a slimy bar of soap or handle a dirty, germ ridden pump again. This is the future the scientists have been dreaming of - the one only glimpsed in the works of the great science fiction writers.

(Who are we kidding? Those nerds were probably never within a hundred meters of a bar of soap.)

But I digress.

My issue with the magic soap spitter is one of sensitivity. That sucker shoots off the minute a hand gets near it (ah, to be young again) and if it gets jostled, watch out. I have problems with it when I move it off the corner of the sink in the morning while I'm shaving (I need my space) - the second I move it, splat! Soap on the counter/my razor/toothbrush. If I accidentally wave my hand around while getting ready, it happily dispenses a glob of soap on the counter whether I want it or not. This drives the mini neat-freak in me insane.

The madness has to stop. I yearn to go back to pumping it when I wanted it, where I wanted it, and getting exactly the amount I wanted.
Minds out of the gutter, people.

There's nothing wrong with pumping it yourself. We've been man-handling our soap for ages without complaint. Some things just don't need to be done for us. I can understand not wanting/liking the slimy bar of soap, but all you have to use is a wire soap dish. Still don't like it? Go back to pumpin' it ol'skool.

Has anyone ever seen a manual pump go off unexpectedly?

I rest my case.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom pumping away.

I feel dirty now.


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