Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Burning Up.

Wishful Thinking.
If there is anything that makes me feel old, it's heartburn.

I know it's common and goes across all age groups, but thanks to the mindless masses of media, it's always portrayed as something only fat, balding old men get. (Unless it's a Pepto Bismol commercial - then it's a waitress, a construction worker, a secretary, and some Latino guy.)

While I'm not as toned as the picture to the right, I'm not obese and I'm only losing a bit of hair in the back, so that just leaves the "old" stereotype for me to fall into.

It's kinda frustrating too - I've had it for about 3 days (can't recall it I had it before that - too much Gin left me kinda fuzzy) and nothing seems to help it. I haven't changed anything in my diet in the last couple of days, and it even started bothering me on my run this morning - and that never happens.

(Do you think it was from all the time I used to spend in the tanning booth? Did it cook me from the inside? Is Orville Redenbacher haunting me from beyond the grave?)

I'm going to chalk it up to bad food (really good, but bad-for-you food) from the Xmas party, Sweet Lady Gin taking her toll on me, and too much Coffee. I'm willing to fix the first two, but they can take coffee away from me on my deathbed - if the heartburn gets really bad, I can duct-tape my cup to my chest and use it as a portable warmer. Mmmmm hot coffee - delicious!

If it persists, I'll see someone about it. Although having to make a Doctor appointment just for heartburn makes me feel even older.

Just watch - with my luck, the nurse will probably ask if I'm there for a gout check-up too.


No comments:

Post a Comment