Monday, December 26, 2011

Boxing Day Timeline.

  • 4:00am - Alarm goes off. Didn't even know there was a 4am. I know there's the 4am when I'm drinking, and the Wife assures me this is the same 4am as that one, but I don't believe her - it feels waaaay different. (Having drank a bunch of Gin last night didn't help.)
  • 4:30am  - After getting the kids up and making coffee, we hook up with the Sidekick for our pilgrimage to the Future Shop in Courtenay. The Sidekick brings me coffee, so I let him in the car instead of forcing him to run behind.
  • 5:15am - We arrive in Courtenay, and the Sidekick and I jump out of the car and get in the ever-growing lineup while the Wife finds a spot to park the car. 
  • 5:20am - The Sidekick and I have already charmed everyone within a 15 meter radius with our witty banter and irrepressible charm. I'm not kidding, when we get together, we are a living comedy/one-liner/pop-culture-reference duo. If you doubt my words, just listen for yourself.
  • 5:59am - The coffee runs out. This is unacceptable, and I start looking for someone to stab. I hold back for the sake of the kids, and because I might lose my place in line.
  • 6:00am - Sensing trouble in the air, Future Shop conveniently opens their doors. Having been smart and pre-ordered the camera package I came for, I safely stroll into the store, knowing that I can browse at my convenience.
  • 6:25am - The chaos in the store prevents any real form of shopping - I swear I saw a lady clutching an iPad box like it was her firstborn. (Assuming she had a firstborn and had left/traded them for the iPad.) When I couldn't look at a display because the lineup from the cash registers was too long and no one would move, I decide it's time to go.
  • 6:40am - I make my way to the camera department and get my package that's saved for me. When I inform the sales lady I want to pay with a mixture of Cash, Gift Cards, and Debit, she regretfully informs me that she can't take my payment in her department. After seeing my look of disappointment and realizing that I was the incredibly funny guy in the lineup outside, she takes all my purchases to a cashier, makes sure they have them, and tells me I'll only be in this line for 5 minutes.
  • 6:46am - I exit the store will all my purchases (Who says being charming doesn't pay off?)
  • 6:47am - I meet the Wife and Kids outside the store - they had already got the game The Boy wanted, and we only had to wait for the Sidekick for another couple of minutes. I ridicule his purchase of a tripod, calling it  "incredibly gay" - secretly I'm kinda envious - I just bought a camera, after all, and a tripod would be kinda sweet.
  • 7:19am - After drving around Courtenay for 20 minutes, we realize that there's no real breakfast - type restaurants open at this time of the morning. My dreams of Eggs Benedict die as we pull into McDonalds. Of course, the kids are thrilled.
  • 7:52am - We leave McDonalds, having experianced the most sub-par coffee in history. (McCafe? Really? It's the same swill from when I worked at the Arches.)
  • 8:46am - We make it back home and the Sidekick departs. After spending the drive in the backseat with the Kids, he probably needs the rest.
  • 9:00am - After unloading the car, we make a pact that every family memeber will leave every other member alone with their purchases for at least an hour - the kids don't really hear me as the already have their 3Ds's turned on and have escaped into Marioland.
  • 10:15am - We decide that since it's the Youngest Boy's birthday, we'll all take a family nap for a couple of hours - the house will be full of family later, so we better get rest.
  • 10:25am - As I drift off into sweet comerce-induced slumber, the doorbell rings. My neighbor drops off chocolates for the kids and wants to chat. I groggily mumble pleasantries and stagger back to bed after closing the door.
  • 12:30pm - The alarm goes off and I mistakenly think it's the 27th.
  • 12:35pm - The family gets up, coffee is made, and showers are had. (Forgoing showers at 4am  for the sake of commercial gain? Yeah, I did that.)
  • 1:00pm - After two cups of coffee, I'm feeling human again. The Wife says she's going to start baking the Boy's birthday cake, and I'm banished from being anywhere near the kitchen. I retreat to play NHL12 with the Boy. (For the record - during our game the Blackhawks were thoroughly crushed.)
  • 2:00pm - I decide to start writing.
  • 2:34pm - The smell of cake permeates the house, and I'm having trouble focusing.

And so far, that's it.

I can't complain at all - it's been a good day, the Kids have been great, and once the madness of the Birthday Party is over and done with, it's smooth sailing until New Years.


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