3000.

The writing's small, but it's there.

Today, with a measly 4 mile run, I broke the 3000 mile barrier on my Nike+. For a technically-obsessed, love-the-numbers-guy like me, it's a big deal.

(For those of you who have a Garmin, the Nike+ is what runners whose wives won't let them spend $400 on a watch wear.)

I'm feeling a mixture of elation and disappointment.

I'm totally thrilled to hit the milestone, but I also realize that if I had been able to keep my mileage the same as the previous two years, I'd have smashed through ages ago. (I started tracking in September 2009.) There was a whole month this summer where I didn't run once.

(For those of you who don't run, some of  us have Runner's Guilt - we feel guilty when we don't run, don't run far enough, don't run fast enough, see other people running when we're not, etc...)

I'm going to focus on the positives: I ran well, it felt good, and I could almost feel the Holiday Bulge starting to work off my gut. 

My one critique of Nike, though: when I crossed the 1000 mile marker and logged in, there was much fanfare - same at 2000 miles. Today? Nothing. Just a reminder that I need to run 105 more miles to reach the next "level". What's the next level, Nike? Nirvana? Enlightenment? Will I be able to juggle while running a 7-minute mile? Throw me a bone, here.

I kind of feel like a hamster on a wheel.

Sure, it's a totally buff hamster with sweet legs, but a hamster nonetheless.








Later.

Dimplification.

Dear Lady on the Stairclimber in front of me at the Gym:

I just wanted to say thank you. I know it sounds creepy and weird, but you were an inspiration to me today, and I really wanted you to know that.

I will admit that as I ran on the treadmill behind you, I initially wasn't looking - I was fascinated with the news about Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment being bought out by the two major media giants in our fine country. (Until I realized that it meant potentially more Maple Leaf games on my T.V. - I then immediately lost interest.)

At first I noticed your calves - you were on the StairMaster after all, and I must say that as a guy who appreciates his own calves (I think they are my best feature, actually) yours looked stellar. Having read recently about Stilettos and high heels, I imagined you slipping into a pair of 5 inch ones when you change out of your runners. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't - I wasn't there to see it.

But I was there when you took off your warm up jacket and reveled a pair of back dimples the likes of which I have never seen. The sight of those Dimples of Venus (seriously, that's the name - I looked it up) were actually what kept me going for the last half mile today - I was fading fast, but somehow felt rejuvenated and I have to give the credit to your ahem...assets.

Unlike the creeper guy on the treadmill beside me, I didn't openly stare - I have some class after all - but I did just want you to know that all the hard work you do is appreciated, albeit silently. I found out guys can also have these sexy things, so now you've given me something to work for.

So thank you, dear lady - your efforts helped my efforts.

It's a win-win situation, see?





Later.

Run, Fatboy, Run.

These are the things I learned on my run today:

• With the amount I sweat, there's no chance of any headphones staying securely in my ears unless I use Superglue and clamps.
• A five-year-old on a bike is not the best choice to pace you.
• The attention span of said five-year-old is about the same as an teenager with ADD after 6 energy drinks.
• After not running for weeks, that first mile is painful.
• So is every other mile after the first.
• After not running for weeks, you notice things that jiggle - things that didn't jiggle the last time you ran.
• These jiggles distract you from the pain of running - hopefully, by the time the jiggles are gone, so is the pain.
• Dog shit is everywhere.
• The track sucks.
• There is nothing greater after a run than a hot shower.
• I just realized I'm crazy enough to do it all again tomorrow.

Later.

Fuck You, 5am.

Is that too bitter?

Don’t get me wrong - I’m enjoying my new routine - the legs are a little bit sore from the different weight program, but everything seems great so far - with one exception:

5am sucks.

I used to do it no prob - 5am, jump out of bed, head to the gym or out for a run. But when I started letting things slide this summer, the first thing to change was how much I hit the snooze button. Not good.

I read somewhere that the best way to establish a habit is to do it (or not do it, as the case may be) for 21 days. After 3 weeks, your body adjusts to the change and you just accept it. So my goal is to make sure that I’m getting up for that morning workout or run on a regular basis.

Yesterday the combination of getting up at 5, the new weight workout, and heading back from holidays to bust my ass at work had me in bed by 10:15! (Really - how sad is that?) Today is the same, except now it’s a night shift, which meant that the whole night drrrrraaaggged. (Sure, I could have slowed down and left myself with work to keep me busy, but that’s not how I roll.) And do you know how hard it is to stay awake when there’s nothing to do? I felt like taking a nap on the Bakery Table - and don’t say coffee, the stuff at work is a crime against man.

But I overcame that, and soon it’ll be Marathons while shoulder-pressing 120lbs on 4 hours sleep.

Ha! If that’s the case I must be dreaming - I’m off to bed.

5am comes early, ya know.


Later.

Super - Duper.

I have no idea where I found this or who made it - all I know is that I laughed my ass off.



And not to cast doubt on Spidey's abilites, but shouldn't he have prevented Abel's murder, or Jesus's crucifixion? I guess not, since he couldn't even save Uncle Ben. (Ooh - low blow!)

Later.