Monday, September 19, 2011

State of the Union.

- Today is the type of Monday that takes other Mondays, bitch-slaps them, and then sodomizes them while eating their lunch.

- When I can wake up late it throws my whole day off - I do not believe there is any amount of coffee that could get me back on track. What is the Starbucks snotty name for a half gallon cup - I'll start with one of those.

- Just heard on the radio that Trooper has 3 sold out shows in Victoria this weekend. My guess is that maximum room capacity is 14 people.

- I'm not one to make light of anyone's injuries, but I do give a dirty chuckle whenever a girl says she has bad knees.

- Quiet people bother me. It's either they don't have anything to say, or they are planning my imminent demise.

- My wife had the audacity to ask me if I play Left 4 Dead (Zombie killing game) with the kids. They're 5 and 8, for chrissakes - they'd be useless, so I only use them as spotters.

- Speaking of the Kids, I'm waiting for the first round of school sickness to occur. They are usually great until they have to hang out with other people's dirty, filthy children. And the wife won't let me wrap them in Saran wrap.

- My phone tried to autocorrect "Saran" to "Satan". I think Satan wrap would be a big seller. The KKK could wrap up the leftovers from the last cross burning.

- Saw a Gif on Reddit - had Alderann shooting first before the Death Star blows it up. Waiting for George to incorporate it into the newest raping of my childhood.

Glad I finished with the nerdiest sentence I've ever written.



  1. -we are always planning the demise of the 'not quiet'. I think i may be able to revert my 'no child' ruling so as to have them available for variouse ancillary non-controler-using gamer functions/needs; "spotting", Zork mapping, snack fetching, phone message taking, bath running, lawn watering, trash dumping, generic email replying, interference running for hotel, neck-shoulder-scalp massaging... well, might as well just get slaves. (PS. your anti spam comment word verification was cologi.. wtf is a cologi?)

  2. ..if cologi is not "something" it really should be made into something, it’s a good word. It’s not phonetically complex, 3 syllables for six letters, good vowel consonant dispersal, does not have eastern-bloc feel, could be a food or a common name for a here before undiscovered anatomical part, not abstract like some fantasy fiction names; I submit, cologi, a new word,, a GOOD word.