Sunday, September 04, 2011

I Feel:


- That checking my blog stats and seeing I've gained repeat visitors makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
- That if they keep coming back here, the rest of the Internet must suck ass.
- That the 10,000th repeat visitor will get a night with the Sidekick, no questions asked. (Buy him a snobby beer and anything's possible.)
- That having one of the kids who works for me point out that they can't read an analog clock makes me weep for humanity.
- That being told by another co-worker about the fantastic lunch-time sex they had makes me wish I didn't live 20 minutes away from home.
- That the previous comment is irrelevant - we all know I could do the drive there, the deed itself, and the commute back and still have time for a snack.
- That reading about the Westbro Baptist Church wanting to picket a Foo Fighters concert saddens me, Because even religious nutjobs will get to go to a concert, and I won't.
- That the creator of Lulemon deserves the Nobel Prize for Libido Stimulation.
- That I don't Tweet as much as I should, but I refuse to live-tweet my bathroom breaks.
- That although the most important person in your life should be your spouse, in reality it's the best friend who deletes your History and Porn Stash upon your death.
- That as much as I like the Beatles, I'd rather put a nail in my ear than listen to early stuff like "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".
- That immediately after reading that, the Sidekick disowned me.
- That if you call in to a radio station on a all-request weekend, are one of the lucky ones to actually get through, and ask for Nickelback - your call should be traced and a truckload of music critics sent out to curb-stomp you.
- That slowly but surely, I'm giving in to the Dark Side - but without the angsty whining about sand and my Mom.

Later.

2 comments:

  1. The rest of Blogger sucks ass, the internet is just free Heroin. Seriously though, where are the good fucking blogs already!

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