Sunday, September 04, 2011

I Feel:

- That checking my blog stats and seeing I've gained repeat visitors makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
- That if they keep coming back here, the rest of the Internet must suck ass.
- That the 10,000th repeat visitor will get a night with the Sidekick, no questions asked. (Buy him a snobby beer and anything's possible.)
- That having one of the kids who works for me point out that they can't read an analog clock makes me weep for humanity.
- That being told by another co-worker about the fantastic lunch-time sex they had makes me wish I didn't live 20 minutes away from home.
- That the previous comment is irrelevant - we all know I could do the drive there, the deed itself, and the commute back and still have time for a snack.
- That reading about the Westbro Baptist Church wanting to picket a Foo Fighters concert saddens me, Because even religious nutjobs will get to go to a concert, and I won't.
- That the creator of Lulemon deserves the Nobel Prize for Libido Stimulation.
- That I don't Tweet as much as I should, but I refuse to live-tweet my bathroom breaks.
- That although the most important person in your life should be your spouse, in reality it's the best friend who deletes your History and Porn Stash upon your death.
- That as much as I like the Beatles, I'd rather put a nail in my ear than listen to early stuff like "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".
- That immediately after reading that, the Sidekick disowned me.
- That if you call in to a radio station on a all-request weekend, are one of the lucky ones to actually get through, and ask for Nickelback - your call should be traced and a truckload of music critics sent out to curb-stomp you.
- That slowly but surely, I'm giving in to the Dark Side - but without the angsty whining about sand and my Mom.



  1. The rest of Blogger sucks ass, the internet is just free Heroin. Seriously though, where are the good fucking blogs already!

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