Tuesday, August 28, 2007


I can feel it sitting there.

It's a half inch to the left of my nose, and I can feel it.
And it's a monster.

Why, I ask you, do I still get zits at 35 years of age?

Zits are for teenagers. Young punks who don't know any better, and are more worried about the hair on their balls than the condition of their faces. Trust me, I'm not worried about my balls (anymore), and my face is where I make my money. A zit is not a good thing.

I feel ripped off. I paid my dues. I Clearasiled this mug from '87 to '91. Kept it in tip top shape. So why am I paying the price now? I am I going to have to be one of those pansy fucks who worries about exfoliating properly? I don't think so.

I'm going to wait until this gusher ruptures (I'm not forcing it) and then I'm going to wage an all-out war with my friends Soap & Water. Once this malignancy has been cleansed, I can be human again.

Wish me luck.


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