Thursday, August 02, 2007

HP EmphysemaJet 4205.

I quit smoking too soon.

A new study reveals that some laser printers in your office or work environment are as harmful to your lungs as cigarettes are.

Turns out that all the cigarettes I smoked in the office weren't as harmful to me as the Safety Notices I printed out on the computer. (Does anyone else sense the irony?)

At least smokes have a filter on them.

Can't wait for HP to introduce it's "Light" brand of printers. More flavor, less particulate matter. Soon there will be HP Slims - Printers for women, and then the government crackdown will come and you'll have to show your ID to by a printer, and take it into a well ventilated room just to print out your resume.

Soon printers will have labels with pictures of blackened lungs on them, and mothers will burst into tears when they find some toner in a pocket while doing their child's laundry.

"You've been printing again, haven't you?"
"No Mom, really!"
"Well I hope you're not using color!"

Using a typewriter will be the equivalent of "rolling your own."

I look up at my printer and I realize I have an Epson - I am a nerd.
All the cool kids are smoking HP's.


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