Sunday, January 07, 2007

Hunter / Killer.

"To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. " - Conan.

And all shall bow down before me - for I am the Slayer and the one from whom there is no escape. I am the Mighty Hunter, who strikes before he is seen.

Yep, I got my first confirmed kill the other day. Had to wait until now to tell all of you because I wanted to make sure I got credit for it and that I wouldn't have to "share" the Honor with someone else.

The Beast was somewhere in the compressor room at work. It had set off the alarms the previous night, and we knew that it was possibly still in the store. Quick thinking was needed. Action had to be taken, lest the element of surprise slip away from us.

I gathered my tools and crept ninja-like into the area. I was confidant that my graceful movements ensured I was not noticed. I laid out my carefully prepared trap, baited with things impossible for him to resist. I was going to wait and savor the moment of triumph, but I left the area to lull my opponent into a false sense of security. (Better to lure him into the trap.) He would be completely unaware of the fate which awaited him.

He was taken and snared while I was sleeping.
He died like any other who would dare to cross my path.

He will be remembered in the Halls of the Fallen.

Basically what it comes down to is this: There was a rat discovered where I work that had sneaked in from outside. It was setting off the motion sensors at night, triggering our alarms. Not Good.

Being the incredible "Doer" that I am, I got two Rat Traps, baited them, (With Goat Cheese - in case it was a Lactose Intolerant Hippy Rat.) and placed them in the compressor room. Sure enough, the next morning the sucker was dead.

End of Story.
(But it's so much better to tell it the other way.)

"Come to me, Son of Jor-El, kneel before Zod!"


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