Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Cinderella Of My Generation.

I'm in pain.

I hope all of you appreciate the suffering I'm going through.

Tonight at work I had to clean up some broken glass. (My fault - we won't get into the details.) It wasn't a problem, except that I got a microscopic sliver of glass impeded in the fleshy pad of my index finger.

It's my right index finger, which sucks because that's the finger I do everything with. I'm all right until I actually do something with my finger (like type) and then it grates into my body with excruciating pain. (I'm a man though, so I don't cry.) It's pretty annoying.

I've tried to dig it out, but my aged and decrepit eyes keep failing me. I can't squint that long with out getting a screaming headache. I've resigned to letting it get infected, and then having someone cut it off. I believe that is the best course of action.

I know the title is misleading, as it's a glass sliver and not a glass slipper, but that's too fucking bad. If I want to misuse my metaphors because I'm in extreme pain, you'll all just have to like it.

If the infection goes gangrenous and I pass on, I bequeath the sliver to The Sidekick. Someone shove it in his finger so he'll be next.

I'm going to try digging this thing out one more time.
I might go the Rambo route and just cauterize the damn thing.
Wish me luck.


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