Similarities.

"Decaffeinated coffee is like sex without orgasm."

Truer words have never been spoken.

There are a lot of similarities between coffee and sex, and pretty much all of them are good. The payoff for both is what I'm interested in.
People drink coffee for a reason. It tastes good, it gives you that jolt you need, and depending on whether you drink it fast or slow, can either be a rush to your system or a nice way to relax.

Sex is exactly the same.

It's the addictive qualities that drive both; coffee has that natural caffeine rush, and sex....well sex has the incredible release of energy, both physical and (sometimes) mental.
To have that buildup, but not the release?
The expectation, but not the follow-through?

Shitty.

And both can be ruined if not prepared right.

Everyone takes their coffee a different way, and no two lovers are the same. Some like extra cream and others take it black. There are those who favor a sweeter blend, and those who prefer a bitter aftertaste. Some places you go to for nice, reliable coffee, and others you've tried once but will never go back again.
I could go on and on. (I say that all the time.)

There are probably some finer points to the argument that I've missed, but you get my drift.

I'd just like to say, To all the women I might of unknowingly served Decaff:
My sincere apologies, and if you bring your cup back, I'll top it off with a stronger brew this time.

Later.