Friday, March 31, 2006

Liquor Is Quicker.

For some strange reason I was thinking about booze today.
As I've said before, music is memory, but I also believe that liquor has it's part in memory as well. (Especially it's help in forgetting.)

Almost everyone remembers the first time they got drunk.

I mainly recall that my brother and I were about 9 or 10, and came upon the leftover, half empty dregs from my parents party the night before. It was some type of orange brandy that was being consumed after dinner, although we thought it was just funny tasting orange juice.
We were wrong.
And I think that has tainted me towards anything orange tasting for the last 20 years.

But if you look far enough back in your liquor history, I think that everyone has had at least one bad experience with almost any alcoholic beverage.

For example:
  • Southern Comfort - Drank 26oz of this and threw up on someones dog. Yes, their dog. I never said I was a classy drunk.
  • Coolers - Used to drink these just for show. I was able to drink four bottles in under 53 seconds. If I could keep my lunch down I was set for the evening. Chugged two liters of it once on a dare, and let me tell you, I showed everyone that I had hot dogs for lunch that day.
  • Vodka - Can't really recall many times that I've had a bad experience with Vodka. That's because I normally black out and forget who the hell I am.
  • Gin - Yes, Gin. I tend to drink Gin like it's going out of style, which it has. Last time I got wound up on this stuff was the Sidekicks birthday. Three in the morning, staggering home? Oh Yeah, great experience.
  • Rum - Drank way too much, fell down a cliff. Enough said.
  • Tequila - Oh hell yeah, who hasn't had a bad time with Tequila? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
  • Beer - Did you read about me at Grey Cup? No? Just skip it, nothing to see here.
  • Jack Daniels - See Southern Comfort, just change dog to lawn, and it's where I slept as well.
  • Sambuca - Passed out with my eyes open after this one. THAT scared the shit out of everyone, I tell you.

And that's the short list. Forget all the mixed drinks like Paralysers, White Russians, Tequila Sunrises and good 'ol Caesars. I don't have time to list all the stupid things I've done after consuming those types of drinks.

But even with that amount of bad memories, the good times I've had while ingesting beverages with my friends are countless and immeasurable. It's not the essential part to the get-together, but it sure does make it just a tad more haywire.

All and all, I do enjoy a good drink now and then. In moderation. I do learn my lesson, but like most lessons, it has to be constantly reinforced.


1 comment:

  1. Wait! Wait! Was I there for the Cliff accident?

    But I agree: Bad Booze Experiences really ruin the taste for that flavour. Why, just when I was becoming rum-compliant after about 10 years (Paul Green's house, I'm sure), PizzaAllan invites me over for a decent straight-rum bender. That was seriously sad, and it'll still be another 5-10 years before I'm good again. Why, I'll be forgetting who I am before I forget the taste of Rum.

    Tequila? Ugh. Ask me about Losing My House in Chilliwack due to Tequila.

    Gin? Never had it, never will. Ugh, and I'm stunned you can actually drink it, let alone ever enjoyed it!

    But that's just me. My stomach's so weak now, that I can't take anything unless it's in one of those cute happy little drinks with umbrellas in them or a decent, mild but tasty beer. Anything straight, watered or chunky and I'll get killer heartburn and gutrot before I get drunk. And that's just not the way to have a good time.

    The best hangover I had lately was a mild case of dehydration with a nasty case of bad fucking chicken. Oh my god, was I ever sick. I would have been Happy to see my stomach laid out on the courtenay connector on the way to Nelson; I woulda just squeezed it out like toothpaste and stuck it back in. Done. I'd've been fine. Thankfully it didn't ruin my taste for Rickerts, and I wish to submit that into evidence for the defense.

    Magic healing tacotime tacos my ass, Kevin. (aka Superman, you can be a dick sometimes)