Tuesday, December 20, 2005

I F@$#%* Hate Shopping.

I go on holidays in two days.

Most of my shopping is done, except for a couple of people, mainly the Wife.

Been too busy working to really get it done, so now I'm gonna have to fight the crowds to get this shit over with.
The most frustrating part is that I know exactly what I am going to get. I'm just pissed that I'm going to have to wade through a sea of imbeciles to get the items I need.

I think I should take a large stick with me and swing it wildly around my head to clear a path. Alas, in this post 9/11 world, I would get jumped by about 5 different government agencies, two of which would be from our "Retarded cousin to the south." (Take that Tucker Carlson, I got a whole other blog entry for you, shmuck.)

I think I'll just have to bite the bullet, or at least carry a few rounds with me. I'm gonna put on my Happy Christmas Face,( "Now with 10% more Insanity!") and just tough it out. I know a lot of you think I'm exaggerating, but I'd rather shop in almost any other place than here. The ignorant butt-heads around this joint seem to come out in force whenever I decide to go downtown.

If you don't hear from me again, pour a Timmy's on the curb.



  1. My god, what a hilarious post, dood.

    Oh. I almost wish I was in town so's I could be your private Shopping Bitch and spare you the trouble. See, being unemployed, I can BE smelly and unkempt and people will just part like the red sea to my most moses of farts.

  2. Yeah. Cmon. That was an awesome post. My farts be like moses, yo.