Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Now that most of the holiday shit is over with, we can start realizing the most important event that happens during this time of year.

Boxing Day Sales!

70% off?, Buy one, get one free?

I'm getting mine, bitches.

See you at the mall.


  1. Anonymous12:47 am

    Dude. You know that, according to archaeological research, Jesus was born in July, eh? That's the Jehovah-the-Christ guy.

    Of course, translation to Greek - where the nasorean movement really took off quite a ways after Jesus-Christ's death - and then to Latin rather hosed his name, and really Jehovah should have been translated as Jacob (Iacov) if it didn't get laundered poorly through such a different alphabet.

    And, of course, you realize that both Jacob and his brother James were BOTH known as Jesus, right? Jacob as the Christ (taken from the transliteration of his 'conqueror' title, since he helped the retreating Habirews totally fuck over the indigenous peoples on the way to Jerusalem from Egypt) and James as the Son of God? (guess which 'other' guy, coincidentally named Jesus, had to be let go when the Gaoler couldn't decide which had to be put to death)

    But maybe it's James' birthday, on a day which just happens to exactly coincide with a very popular pagan 'Saturnalia' celebration which the early Church decided to co-opt with the others to ease the assimilation of the rival believers. That's why we give gifts and used to put candles on trees, by the way.

    Betcha can't guess whether an old pagan ritual fell exactly on Easter Sunday, can ya? I'm forgettting which one, but I'd laugh if it was a dyonisian/bacchan celebration, which would lend a whole new interpretation of the search for eggs in bushes, all brightly clothed/painted.

  2. We've got to have coffee, you and me.

    Take note people, THAT"S HOW YOU WRITE A COMMENT!


  3. Anonymous1:25 pm

    Ha ha ha. I can't believe that THIS was the comment that was judged awesome.

    I do run across some of my own old ones, on occasion, and I tell ya: I must be channeling the excited spirit of someone way funnier than me, because
    - it's funny
    - I don't remember.

    It's times like those where I first coined the phrase 'kicking my bag of squid down the beach.' It was the 3rd time before I actually remembered.

    Egads, I must be a popular hangout for that spirit.

    Popular? Eh. He's medium.

    Ba-dump-bump. Thanks folks, I'm hear all week. Try the veal.