When you date a girl who has kids, what does that make you? Are you the Step-Daddy? The Father-to-be-Named-Later? What is your role?
I know a couple of guys who have instant family's like that. I don't know if I could do it.
Oh, I could bang the bejesus outta some hot mama, but don't expect me to be making breakfast before the kids go to school.
I think it's somewhat like someone finding a pair of shoes that have been discarded on the road. They look like someone else's shoes, could even have a name marked on the inside. But you pick'em up, dust 'em off and proudly proclaim that you are going to wear these shoes and take care of them like it was the first pair you owned. Problem is, you've never worn shoes before.
How would you discipline a kid who knows that the only reason you're around is because Mommy likes your man-candy? Do you have any authority to do so? I know that later on when my son gets lippy, I can tell him that I had to change his shitty ass when he was younger and that gives me every right to boss him around. If he wants to be in charge I'll pinch a loaf right there and see how he likes the mess.
What if the real Dad is still around? How the hell do you work that out? " Hey you know what's funny? Your kids call me Daddy, and so does their Mom when we're in the sack." Gonna make for an uncomfortable Christmas.
I know that it's possible to really care for these children, but it's got to be like when you were a kid. Sure, you'd borrow your friends baseball cards, and you would take real good care of them. But if you lost one or two, so what? You felt bad, but it's not like they were your baseball cards.
I guess I'm gonna be a great Dad to my kids, just horrible to anyone else's.
There's an obvious an unstated disclaimer here.
ReplyDeleteThe question of instant families come sup more every year, I think. Let me turn this around:
Because she has 3 kids, is she barred from dating forever? Must she steal away to my love shack when the kids are at no or low risk to need her, and in between working like a dog as a single mom?
I've thought about that very situation for a few days so far, and I feel that a stepdad can't be a real dad; there are some things the birth-dad has that this interloper will never have. But, for the time that he's a part of the family, he's been given the authority (which satisfies even the military definition) to uphold her law through means she stipulates. Otherwise, the guy enjoys his outsider status since he's not the Parent really.
It's almost like a Manager vs a Crew Chief scenario: the CC doesn't make policy, but he's also one of the guys unless he's gotta enforce something. And really, since he's just a workaday kinda guy, a CC doesn't care so much about the restaurant: if it burns down, he can go work at DQ/A&W/LuckyBuck. Meh, all the same kinda interchangable hair net jobs!
;-)
Interesting topic you got here today my friend.not the usual dick and fart joke routine here...no sir...first off Just to get back to something Lunchbox said..I feel that a step dad can take the place of the real dad. Did in my life..I think it really depends on age at the time of the speration. I was five at the time and the time spent with real father (or sperm donar as i sometimes refer to him)and with that of my Dad drastically out weighted the other. And if you were to ask me who I recognize as my Dad it would be my step dad...a term i dont even use in describing him actaully. and I think it has alot to do with bing young at the time. As to "Shoplofting the poo-dy", instant famillies can be scary at a young age. I think we can both think of a perfect example..casue one time in Port Alberni...But I digress. I see no problem with dating a gilr with kids. If you are against that i think you are automatically counting out half the dating pool, then you just have to be sure of THEIR intentions and I mean the girls. Alot can be said for a Mom who works and has a good job and can take care of her own kids...you have to be careful of the ones that might need you for something...like a car payment. That sounds horrible i know but you know they are out there and they give the rest of the milfs a bad name
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete