I Feel:

- That sitting in the breakroom at work eating an apple with a knife makes me look like:  a) Crocodile Dundee, b) a total Badass, or c) an accident waiting to happen.

- That, as much as I like their clothes, wearing an Adidas track jacket to work on casual day was a bad choice - I've been asked 3 times if I'm in the Russian mafia. (Is it the stripes?)

- That after doing a heavy chest workout yesterday, I should get bonus points today if I can get my arms above my navel.

- That since the Kony video hit, everyone is an expert on Africa - yet no one can find Uganda on a map.

- That the minute you can prove to me that changing my Facebook status actually accomplishes anything, then I'll start using it for more than running updates and dick jokes.

- That the crazy, always-laughing-at-something coworker sitting across from me has no idea how much her voice makes me want to throat-punch her. (Luckily, I'm a peaceful man.)

- That the day I forget to bring my coffee from home is, of course, the day the work coffee pot decides to implode. If I don't get some caffeine, it won't be the only one.

- That people who don't take their stuff out of the microwave should be punched each time it does that annoying "reminder" beep. I'd implement this at home, but the Wife has bony fists that really hurt.

- That trying to reconcile a customer complaint when they obviously don't understand math, weights, or the metric system can be a challenge..

- That thanks to my sweet interpersonal skills, there's one more uneducated person out there who thinks I'm fucking great.

- That Canadian politics are so dull - even our scandals are boring. Robocalls? Really? I like my politics dirty and full of hookers and cocaine.

Later.