Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Juice-Box Uncertainty Principle.

As a parent, I find that there's one moment when your child holds complete power over you. The next ten minutes of your life are in their hands, and the outcome can be pleasant or disastrous.

When does this happen?

Anytime you hand a toddler a juice-box.

You see, when ever you give a kid anything, you always tell them to "Hold on tight." - this works great for everything in life except for juice-boxes and kittens. The moment of uncertinty is when you hand them the box and see how they grab it. One of two things can happen:
  1. Child grabs box, takes a sip, enjoys tasty beverage, happiness abounds.
  2. Child squeezes box, juices shoots out straw - covering child, child's clothes, and any carpet within 500 meters. - the next ten minutes are spent cleaning up and changing clothes. And the kid's still thirsty.
And it can go either way - there's a different outcome each time.

I think I'd almost rather play Russian Roulette with a nail gun. It'd be less stressful. (And messy.)


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