You'll all remember this guy.Well, I think I found his Wife.
I was looking to change my cellphone account - upgrade from pay&talk to a shared plan - so I went down to my carrier's store to inquire about my options.
I go in with The Boys, and out from the back comes one of the surliest people I've ever met. She's about 25, very pregnant, and in the foulest of moods. I chalk up the irateness to the fetus within and tell her what I'm looking for and ask what my options are. I think I had interrupted her on her way to her break, so I figured that played a part in her demeanour as well.
She rolls her eyes at me and proceeds to point at the chart on the wall behind her, as if by some miracle I'm supposed to discover what I need amongst the formulaic writing crammed into a postage-stamp sized space. When I enquire if the term comes with a new phone, she slams two models on the counter and just looks at me.
(You have to understand - I'm not an annoying customer - I ask clear questions and am always polite - so her hostility has me somewhat surprised.)
I thanks her for her time and tell her I might be back later. She grunts and heads to the back room. The Boys and I leave.
I'm parked across from the store, and as I'm putting the youngest one in his carseat, I see Miss Sunshine come out the entrance. She's on a mission, and is moving mighty fast - to the smoking area. Yeah, that's right. I even see her light up and puff away as she's making the last few steps there.
I guess the break I was interrupting was the one her and her unborn child were going to have.
You know, if I don't understand the motivations of a guy who wears jeans to the gym, I'm sure as hell not going to understand the motivations behind a woman who smokes while pregnant. As a reformed smoker, I'm really lenient with those who do smoke, (It's your lungs, do what you want.) but even I know that there's sometimes when you just shouldn't smoke - and the nine months of pregnancy seems to fall in that category, right behind playing in a puddle of gas.
In case you were wondering, I didn't change my cell plan after all.
Later
In NJ, it's illegal for regular people to handle hazardous chemicals like gasoline. All the gas pumps in that state are full-service. A guy's gotta be trained, after all; wouldn't want just any yahoo using the pumps. It could asplode.
ReplyDeleteSo I told you that story because it's even funnier in that light - where we're too stupid to handle gasoline - to mention that me and the clone drove into a local gas bar to see the greasy stereotype sitting on the bench between the pumps, looking every bit homeless, smoking while he filled the car in the bay adjacent to ours.
You know, directly under the sign that said No Smoking While Refueling.
It was nervous laughter, anyway.