It's a given that Starbucks has some cool shit going on.Hip music, trendy lighting, hot coffee. But I didn't think it extended into the bathrooms.
I was wrong.
As I walked into the Starbucks washroom last night after Poker, I noticed the sleek, racecar-like lines of this porcelain wonder. I was perplexed - it didn't have a visible handle - just two buttons on top, but I had to go, and the bladder waits for no one. (A moment of panic crossed my mind - it was almost like the three seashells in Demolition Man.) While I stood there looking about I saw there were instructions on the wall about how to flush the toilet.
I read them while conducting my business. (Yes I can read and pee at the same time, and don't worry - I didn't splash the seat.) Each button corresponds to a bodily function. If all you are doing is Number One - press Button One - and just enough water comes out to rinse the bowl clear. If you're making a deposit (Number Two) - press Button Two and a torrent of water releases, whisking away that concentrated evil you left behind.
What a great way to save water and be ecologically pro-active, don't you think?
Except for people like me who will stand there for five minutes pressing the buttons to see if they can tell there's a difference, and seeing what kind of tsunami they can create by pushing both buttons at once.
Next to that - it's a great fucking idea.
Later.
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