Sunday, May 14, 2006

With Two You Get Eggroll.

I'm always amazed at people's reaction when they find out that I'm a twin.

I guess the thought of another completely hot, incredibly charming, suave piece of man-meat like me is too much for them to handle. They probably have trouble determining if the earths crust can support my ego, let alone another of the same size.

And then the questions come out.
"Does he look like you?" - No , he wishes, but God must have frowned on him while smiling on me. We look similar; you can tell we are brothers, but identical? Forget it.
"Who is older?" - That's not a bad one, (He is by three minutes.)
"Does he celebrate his birthday three minutes before you?" - What are you, retarded? What kind of question is that?
"It must have been cool growing up" - Yeah overall it was, but there are some downsides to sharing every moment of your life with someone. The same presents at Christmas, the identical T-Shirts, nobody thinking you'll mind sharing a room, competing for the same girls, (I won most of the time), Your family's inability to support two of you going into the same sport or field trip at times. (Missed out on China 'cause of that.)

The greatest thing about having a twin growing up can be summed up in two words: Instant Alibi. It didn't matter what it was, if I needed backup or cooberation, he was there. And I would do the same. As long as we stuck together and kept our stories straight, no court could convict us, and we'd get off free and clear.

It's strange on how this Mother's Day I'm writing about my brother, instead of Mom. But one way to look at it is this: I knew him before I knew her, so she just had the distinction of being our first apartment.



  1. With your Twin Psychic Sense you must have known I was gonna comment.

    You think you had the Instant Alibi? As a true Genetic Equivalent, mine would have been better, had I been in a position to realize and leverage its potential to my advantage sooner. And here my days are now spent worrying that I'll be called in due to damning DNA evidence....

    I like the First Apartment thing. That's hilarious, and it suggests that the thing closest to the top of your mind was the whole Wombmates joke.

    The Person-not-Member thing continues to be a mild disappointment. While I understand and am completely grateful for the over-emphasis on the clones-as-individuals part of the upbringing, sometimes it chafed: "Who'd win in a fight?" (Like they don't understand that, aside from the toe-twisting incident, most of our public tussles weren't against each other, because we respected the unit over Them quite a bit)

    Hmm. Do twins have an Us vs Them mentality, same as the (under)current rumoured prejudice in Japan vs outsiders? It's hard to say, really, since I don't have a lot of experience /not/ being a clone.

    And that's why the "What's it like" question is a bit stupid. Um, because, really, what's it like not to have a twin? To what am I comparing it against when answering, except for a prejudiced view of the grass on the other side of that fence?

    Except that, up to a short while ago, I knew I always had a spare kidney to fall back on.

    Now I just have the 2-3 second pause between people hearing my birthname and doing an impromptu karaoke, for humour, and that'll /never/ get old.

  2. I gotta be more concise. My comment is shorter than your original post by 80 characters, less than the length of this comment.

  3. so when you are a twin at what age do you get your wondertwin power rings and does it come with a book about what combos are not a good form of water and your twin goes with the bucket....oh yeah and another thing...G.I.Joe made me belive as a kid that when you hit one twin the other feels it and truth to that rumour?...haha...

  4. I'll hit you so hard your Mom will feel it, and she's not even your twin....

  5. I wouldn't hit him. He's not even that cute.