Saturday, February 04, 2006

Paternal Dilemma

My Dad was admitted into the Psyche Ward today.

He's been depressed for a while now, and was on some medication for it, but due to complications he had to be weaned off those meds and given different ones. Since he was weaned off the original ones, he's never been the same.

My family doesn't talk about shit like this, so I've found out the severity of this only recently, probably just around the start of December. We got together for a family thing, and something about Dad wasn't right. You see, like me, my Dad is a talker, and he'll go on forever if you let him, especially if he's in the mood to bitch. But that evening, he was so quiet and had so little input that it was unnerving. I mentioned this to my mother, and she calmly told me what was going on. (Everything in my family is calm, we don't cause a ruckus about shit like mental health.)

Fast forward to the new year and things seem to be better. Dad appears to be back to his normal self, and no information about anything being out of the ordinary is coming my way.

I get home from work and the message is passed on: Call your Mother.

I phone Mom and she tells me that Dad has been admitted to the care of the Regional Psychiatric Care Society at the hospital. I'm quite in shock, and she's saying that earlier in the day he was talking funny. Not funny ha-ha, funny "It's not worth carrying on", "What's the point of life". Mom recognized that something wasn't kosher, and called one of my Dad's friends to come and take him to the local hospital for a consult with the Crisis Nurse. Once there, they all, Dad included, decided it was best for him to be admitted. Dad was then sent to the Regional Facility.

When I was on the phone with my Mother, it didn't seem serious. It was all surreal 'cause she's so calm about it. I chalk it up to professionalism, (Mom's a Nurse) and she's telling me what went on. Then she asks me to phone and tell my Brother what is going on.

Now don't get me wrong, I have no problems phoning my Brother. But when ever anything is going on, it's always me who has to phone him, nobody else from the family will. That's not fair to him. He should be hearing from the source, not second hand through me.

When I explain that to her, then she starts crying. Now I know something is really wrong, people. Let me make this clear. My Mother does NOT cry. She is the epitome of strong womanhood, and tears are reserved for only serious occasions. My heart beats a little faster as I calm her down, tell her I'll call my Brother and I also double check that there are people coming to be with her. I tell her I'll check with her tomorrow, and I also arrange to meet with her before I go see Dad.

It'll be a couple of days before I can see Dad, but that will give him time to settle down and give me time to adjust to what to do. I'm not 100% sure how to handle this, and I want to convey my support and love without causing him any embarrassment. Don't ask why I fell he'd be embarrassed, I just think he will be.

Dad breakin' down and Mom actually crying?

Two of my pillars just started crumbling.



  1. After coming home from my weekend jaunt to Vic to see Jen, this comes as quite the's 930 Sunday night..I just got home and would call but I don't want to wake the me if you need anything.....casue i know you will check this thing....

  2. i recently had an a family member try to off themselves.
    This came as a complete shock to me and the rest of my immidiate family.
    If things were so bad, why didnt someone reach out to him, or let someone else know, or demand that he get help.
    I dealt with the whole,
    "If i had known maybe i could have"...
    Well ididnt know
    and he really didnt want me to know how he was feeling.
    Men are Men
    we dont feel.

    i am sorry for you and your family, but this could very well be the beginning of something helpful and wonderful.
    Stay strong dude.
    Give the wife a tickle for me