Introductions.

He's always with me.
He never goes far, and although he has led me astray at times, it's really not his fault.
No matter what, he's usually positive.
Occasionally he can be a mean & uncooperative drunk.
But he makes up for it when all is said and done.
He's there to lift my spirits when I'm feeling down,
And I reward him as much as I can.
He has a hard life, yet never complains.
I'm not the easiest guy to associate with, yet he's never negative.
He's even got me out of a few tight spots.
We've had some good times,
Some bad times,
And some times we'd like to forget.
Always there, constant, available.
Able to handle the task at hand.
He's never let me down.
I'll never be able to thank him for what he's done for me.
Ladies and Gentleman...
My Best Friend...
My Penis.