Sunday, February 19, 2006

Fiscal Solvency.

What would you do if you had a shitload of money?

Lets all assume that we would first be good Samaritans and take care of our families, but what would you do if you found yourself able to afford to do practically anything you wished to do?

I know The Sidekick would pay his cousins phone bill, others would go to Paris, some would check out art in museums around the world, and Bish.... well, I'm not sure what Bish would do. Maybe buy half of Google, and really show those bastards how it's done.

Me? Yeah, I'd travel. I would go to all those places I've always wanted to go to, like Europe, Australia, shit like that. I'd like to have a binge week in Vegas, and then I'd like to hunt the deadliest prey of all.....Man. ( I kid, really.)
I like to think that I'll do all those things, but I'd probably turn out to be like a Howard Hughes clone, with Kleenex boxes on my feet, and obsessing about the cleanliness of my genitalia. ( Honestly, there's no such thing as too clean.) And since I already obsess about my genitalia, the only difference would be now I'm rich while I do it.

So how would you spend it? What would you do? A DVD every hour? Start your own Church? Buy the New York Rangers and move them to Winnipeg?
The sky's the limit.



  1. Come on now...i've done the phone bill thing...but after the oligitoty..helping of family, dvd and cd shopping sprees,bender in vegas and flight of fancy trips to europe...I would surprise surprise open a record store, casue first of all i am still to young to retire and ui would most defiently get bored jsut playing golf and drinking all day and beging financially independent and not having to worry about money ever again would afford me the chance to have the business i have always wanted and run it the way i wanted. Ever seen High Fidelity?.. I would have the home office come and work there(you can come too thought) and as people bought stuff we would ridicule their music choices and make them feel small and musically feeble..oh the fun....

  2. I'm not too young to retire.

    I say, retire while one can still physically enjoy the money -- and spot the personal trainer I'd have. I'd be buff like Brad in no time. Then it's Borneo, Singapore, Tokyo, Moscow, Paris, London, Glasgow, Egypt and maybe finally Montréal.

    Then it's a nice, secluded place with all the comforts a guy would need and more bandwidth than really is appropriate.

    Then I'd buy shaw and Telus, through shell corporations and offshore dummy accounts and start setting UP this place. The next time the federal government gets listed on ebay, there ain't no one outbidding me; after that, I write my OWN zoning rules, thank you very much. Get off my land, and take your casino with you. Don't MAKE me speed-dial Chuck Norris to come kick your ass. [Lovitz]Whom I'd be employing.[/Lovitz]

    My first tech park would be up in Parksville (yeah, oddly), Shawnigan Lake, BellaBella and Sayward (ha!) to follow -- it's all about serene locations and places for stressed geeks to chill out, far enough away from civilisation to keep it peaceful, close enough to prevent logistics pain. 2560 genius capacity per location, on-grounds amenities from mini-resorts to starbucks to 24-hour fitness, and a team of rabid wolverines soliciting contracts to rival the biggest, baddest companies out there. We'll crush the competition and wash our hands in their alligator tears. Oh yeah.

    Thinking globally, acting locally. Don't EVER give an aspiring dictator the opportunity to actually DO something.

  3. I'd attend every Foo Fighters concert. I'd buy extremely expensive camera equipment. I'd build hospitals everywhere. I'd employ thousands. I'd pay for everyone's tuition. I'd give all my coworkers a raise. I'd go crazy madstyle.