- That Sidney Crosby's return to the ice is being treated like Jesus is strapping on skates for the first time.
- That although Sid is almost a Canadian deity, I still think Jesus would kick his ass, mostly because Jesus would have Gretsky and Lemeiux as linemates.
- That although I enjoy supporting through Movember movement, I don't think Prostate Cancer is as itchy as what's under my nose.
- That if you already have your Christmas lights and tree up, you should be 1) Slapped, and 2) Slapped again. At least have the decency to wait until December. You don't see the Jewish people putting up Hanakkah stuff already, do ya?
- That if I was on Deal or No Deal, I'd sneeze on my hands and hug Howie Mandel - just to fuck with his mind.
- That seeing stores selling "Gingerbread People" instead of Gingerbread Men makes me want to put icing dicks and boobs on them just to prove a point. What about hermaphrodite Gingerbread? Won't that sell?
- That the fact that I think about boobs on Gingerbread people worries me deep down.
Short, sweet, and to the point.
What more could you ask for?