Customer Service Can Suck My Dick.

I'd just like to start by saying that not every customer I encounter in my day to day work are assholes - most are great, some are outstanding. This blog post is not about either of those two groups.

I have no problem dealing with the general public. However, there are traits that some display which, for lack of a better phrase, fucking pissing me off.

What could possibly trigger such a change from my normally sunny disposition, you ask? Let me explain:

- Learn to fucking read. If you can't understand the sign that is directly in front of the product, how is that my fault? Should I sit down and have a reading comprehension session with you just so you understand that it's 2/$5?

- Be Polite. I see hundreds of people a day wandering around with that "Looking for something" look on thier face - please don't freak at me if I ask if you need help finding something - it's part of my job, I do want to help, and if you're a douchebag I hope you never find that Preparation H you were looking for, dick.

- Respect My Answer. If I tell you that we're sold out of the bread you are looking for and that the truck is due in two hours, please don't ask the cashier at the front the same thing. Do you know who she's going to ask? Me. And I just fucking told you.

- Be Reasonable. Is there any food business in Canada that will let you walk around their place with no shoes on? I know we are in the "laid back" area of town, but really, how hard is it to wear shoes? (I'm thinking thumbtacks on the floor just to be an ass about this one.)

-Acknowledge Me. I'm asked by my boss to say "Hi" and speak to customers when I see them. You could do your part by at least recognizing that I spoke to you, and don't act like some mute fuck who doesn't speak to "The Help".

- Help Me Help You. I know you may think that just throwing you're basket of groceries on the counter is helping me, but making me unpack, scan, and then bag your shit just slows the whole process down. This also goes for bringing your own bags - if I've already bagged half the order and then you tell me you don't want plastic and your bags are in your car, I will fucking stab you. (Not really, but I'll be thinking it behind my smile.)

- Be Reasonable (pt 2). Understand that there are things I can't control, despite my god-like Grocery Manger powers. So getting mad at me because a truck that delivers to us is 3 hours late dropping off the Newspapers doesn't really do anything except make you look like a schmuck, and make me want to slap people who look like schmucks.

I know it's a lengthy list, but it can be summed up in just four words: Don't Be An Idiot. If you can follow that, then you and I will get along just fine.

Later.