Friday, June 23, 2006


Is anybody ever truly happy with a haircut?

You pretty much are stuck with what you are dealt. It's not like they can stick it back on if you don't think it looks good. I believe the trick is to have them stop just before it's the way you want it. That way it's at least close to what you were looking for. You could shoot for cutting it a little shorter, but I won't advise that unless you can stay inside all week or wear a hat everyday. They say close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, but it's bang on when it comes to haircuts.

I would not be a good hair-cutter.
I know how I hate it when people fuck with my hair, and would transfer that on to everyone else. The average haircut would take about seven hours because I would be verifying how it's going every step of the way.
"How's it looking so far?"
"Oh, great, really good."
"How about now?"
See? That's no good for anyone.

There must be some kind of hidden conspiracy between hair stylists and the Gel Companies. I think they get kickbacks on the volume rate of product dispensed. When you ask me if I'd like some gel in my hair, I take the word some to mean a small amount, not enough to shellac my hair into a fucking helmet capable of protecting me from repeated blows to the head.

But I can't complain. How do you complain to a woman who has scissors right by your ear? I have visions of angry stylists stabbing me with cutting instruments and pouring that blue shit into the wounds. (If I tip a little extra the nightmares stop.)

So for now I'll just smile, nod and say it looks great.

Has anyone seen my hat?


1 comment:

  1. You'll have to show me that haircut in a week. I'll bring some hairgel and we can test the Repeated Blows to the Head theory.