Revamp The Holidays.

Well, Halloween is over.
In Canada, that means that all the Christmas shit will start to go up soon.
I like the fact that we have Thanksgiving when we do, because any excuse for turkey is great, however I envy the Americans for the fact that they have one more holiday before Christmas.
It would make it seem like Christmas is farther away, and that you can still enjoy the fall without having to worry about it and all the bullshit that goes with that holiday.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Xmas hater. I just think that the merchandising world gets so riled up about Christmas that the bullshit advertising and the incessant goodwill are a bit to much to handle.
It makes me more grumpy the closer I get to Christmas.
That's why Canada needs a new holiday. One that will tide us over until Christmas, brighten our day after the gloom of Remembrance Day, yet still be simple enough for everyone to enjoy.
Some of my suggestions:

• DVD Day - Get your loved ones the DVD they always wanted.
• Free Coffee Day - Buy a coffee for a random stranger, and have random strangers buy you coffee.
• Steak and a Blowjob Day. - Would be the greatest holiday ever.
• Sit on The Couch All Day Day - Good movies on TV, some snacks.... At least the fatties would go for it.
• Feel the Melons Day - If you see a chick with a nice rack, give 'em a squeeze.

If we had some of these holidays, I bet the suicide rate around Christmas would go way down.

Not only are we cheering ourselves up, but we are saving lives.